Wednesday, March 2, 2011

What Will Happen When We Are Gone?

As I lay down to rest from a very emotional day at the orphanage my mind continues to keeps going.  I lay there thinking of the children I left behind.  My son Alex comes in to check on me and decides to lay down beside me and talk with me.  He asked me a question that has lingered with now for hours.  “Mom, what will happen to the children at the orphanage when we leave?”  WOW!  What will happen to them?
On Tuesday when we arrived we brought our usual large bag of beans.  That day we had also brought hand soap, dish soap, bleach, a broom, a large wooden spoon, and two basketballs.  As we got out of the car the children came running.  They knew that we had not come without bringing something, but even if we had they would have greeted us with the love they always do.  Many hugs were shared and then we opened the trunk to share all our items.  You cannot image the little and big faces when they see a huge bag of beans appear.  They know that they will eat that day.
Moses one of the older boys that tries to take care of things pulled me aside and with tears in his eyes (as always) says “mom thank you for the beans, we did not know what we were going to eat today.”  You see the children only had about 10 pounds of corn flour left.  They were going to pour this corn flour into water and give every child a cup to drink.  That was going to be their food for today.  This would mean that they would not eat until someone brought them more food or until some of them go out and beg for something to eat.  Worse yet dig through the garbage in the small town to see if there are any scraps of food left behind.  So I had 53,000 shillings left in my pocket (about 20.00 us dollars) I gave moses the money and told him to go to town and buy a 50lb bag of corn flour and bring it back.  (50,000 for the corn flour and 3,000 for the motorcycle to carry him and the flour back.)  This one bag of corn flour and the beans will feed the children for about one week.  A total cost for beans and flour of about 30.00 us dollars.
This is normal life for these children.  No education, no food, no love, and very little hope.  How on earth can this happen?  My heart is so very heavy.
I can not help but think again about Alex’s question to me, what will happen to these children when we leave?  What will happen to Stella who follows me around all day and wants to always give me hugs, Stella wants to go to schoo,l but yet there is no money to send her, she thinks she is 15, but she is not sure because her parents died when she was smaller and she lived with her elderly grandmother up until about three weeks ago.  Stella tells me every time we are there.  “mom, can I go with you?, mom, I want to go to school, mom can you take me with you please?”  Again, my heart is heavy.
Then there is little Bridgette, BabaZ, Brenda and Wren.  Bridgette is about three years old, BabaZ and Brenda are about five to seven years old and Wren I think he is twelve years old.   All these children have absolutely no one, and the sad thing is there are so many more in the same situation.  So what will happen to these small ones when we leave?  I can ‘t bare the thought.  I have to find a way to get them food and an education even after I am gone………… but how????? 
I need to answer Alex’s question, so with tear filled eyes we lay on the bed and I tell him I am not sure what will happen to them.  Some of the small ones who are little will probably die of hunger, or of sickness, while some of the older ones will probably have to resort to begging and digging through trash for their food.  None the less the future does not look very bright for any of them, unless another person steps in.  Alex and I lay there and cry.


  1. Barbara, Lisa posted a link to your blog on fb. I've added it to my blog list. What an incredible journey you're on.

    I'll have to catch up on the older posts as I have time.

    Looking forward to sharing just a little in your experience.

  2. Thanks for sharing your journey! You are amazing and you inspire me! Thinking of and praying for you! Hugs from KC!!!

    Amy Baker